BEYOND THE BIG SKY

Lol. Very late update. Way to go with being consistent huh. I haven’t posted over the last couple of weeks because I ended up rereading what I wrote for my last entry and I ended up deeply feeling in my stomach that I have simply shared way too much. Will I edit that blog and take out any uncomfortable information? No. Do I feel bad for gushing all that for my immediate family, friends, and coworkers to scrutinize? Also no. I just stopped giving a shit, I guess. But I do recognize the toll my body took in letting out all that burden I have been carrying all these years. I felt massive fatigue for some reason after that though, and I spent the past weeks in reflection and making sense of everything that I was feeling.

Outside of that, the first four weeks of 2026 were pretty dreadful uneventful. Nothing much was happening, and it was mostly me going back to regular scheduled programming. Despite my attempts at forcing myself to engage with any opportunity to interact with other people, I found myself walking the beeline straight from the office to home everyday with no hesitation (which is kinda crazy since I would walk past so many crowds of people here in BGC on my way home).

Anyways, I know that this is supposed to be a weekly thing, but I think content-wise, it’s better if I only did it once every two weeks moving forward (January is an exception since… ughm, I’m still in my 2026 free trial period). It gives me more time to ponder on the things that transpired over the course of the two weeks. Frankly yet sadly, I spend most of my time nowadays just working, studying French, and tending to my dogs. Nothing interesting is happening to me, like ever. Also, don’t you think it’s kinda on brand for me to just do this once every two weeks: it’s gonna be a bi-weekly update.

Currently Wearing:
I’m wearing a big black baggy tee and just my underwear. I just got home, finished 20 minutes of Duolingo and my ass is now glued to my chair as I type this.

Doggy Updates:
We went to the vet last January 4 and 24 to get Sawyer’s 4th and 5th vaccine shot! He weighed at 1.9 kg during the last measurement, so another significant increase since last month. When I got Chandler, he was like at 3.5 kgs, so seeing Sawyer grow this rapidly is really starting to freak me out. It’s a weird feeling how I don’t want Sawyer to grow up too quickly and I want him to stay as cherubish as he is now, even when there’s a part of me who is just itching for the day he finally matures and stops peeing the fuck out of everywhere. Kuya Chandler is still healthy, which I am more than thankful for. I probably need to head out to buy dog food again though, which is kind of a drag.

Sawyer has started experiencing that phase of his doggo life. Chandler ages 2-5 was just an absolute menace, so it’s kinda jarring seeing Chandler napping in the corner of my unit while Sawyer goes through the laundry like a rabid maniac (bruh, you were the OG of this shit). Chandler would go through the laundry, and hide clothes all over the house back when I was still living in Japan. Over the years, he has mellowed down and thankfully, doesn’t do this anymore. Sawyer on the other hand… jeezus, I’m just happy he’s not as freaky as Chandler and only likes going for socks.

Songs of the Week:

I realized that if I kept on changing the songs per week, I wouldn’t be able to keep track of the songs that made my year. So I decided to just compile them in one playlist. I plan on posting only 10-12 songs per update at the maximum, so I won’t get too carried away. Since I haven’t posted anything in over a month, I will be adding a plethora of songs to the playlist, but will only bring up the ones that stood out for me here.

• Charlie Brown – Coldplay
  The moment the clock stroke midnight on January 1st, 2026 I decided to shuffle my playlist. This was the first song that played. Despite Coldplay being a band that I grew up listening to in my integral years, I haven’t really been listening to their songs recently. Hearing this first thing in 2026 was such a nice touch though. I was in the balcony with my Lola, watching the sea of fireworks blasting off across Metro Manila. Needless to say, I was teary eyed the whole fucking time.

• Yummy (Righteous Remix) – Ayesha Erotica, Mo Beats
  This was the second song that played after Charlie Brown. I felt so represented by this run of two songs: profound clarity, only to be followed by an insane amount of cunt.

• Stateside – PinkPantheress, Zara Larsson
  I was already obsessing over this remixed version with Zara Larsson since December so I was floored when I heard that they will be dropping a music video for it – which did not disappoint at ALL. When I saw the fan edit on Twitter of the music video in a glitchy grainy early 2000s filter with the MTV logo on the top right? It hit harder than baby blue meth, that shit was so fire. I am so glad both Pink and Zara are finally getting their flowers – and that the song is performing well on the charts.

• ラムネ – Indigo La End
  I fucking hate this band. I hate that they tour around Japan so much and yet I have yet to see them live. Like, how can you be so fucking raw with those lyrics? One of my biggest weakness when finding new music along my alley is when the tone of the song is so polarizingly different from its lyrics. Ramune has such an upbeat, feel good rhythm to it, but when you start breaking down those lyrics…? Like, for real, who hurt you man????? Ramune, along with all their other songs, are so vague and open to interpretation, which makes it more interesting with each listen. Truly a masterclass in song writing.

• safety net – Ariana Grande feat. Ty Dolla $ign
  I don’t even know why this is found its way here. I stumbled upon it on shuffle on a random Wednesday and decided to listen only to this song for four days straight afterwards. Positions is such a horny album for one sit through, which makes this song stand out for me so much more. Those lyrics, those riffs, those harmonies – this song is peak yearning, and you can’t tell me otherwise.

• Candy – Doja Cat
  For some reason, my brain told me over the weekend to go through the entirety of Doja Cat’s discography. Planet Her is thematically and cohesively, still her best album, and it fucking sucks because if the world wasn’t busy with the ongoing pandemic when it was released, this album would’ve slapped like a motherfucker in the clubs. But for some reason, I really really enjoyed Amala, which was the album I discovered Doja Cat. Candy does not come off as a special song, heck, it might be a skipped song for most people – but it is special for me. There’s something about that beat that tickles my brain in such an irresistible way that renders me wanting to close my eyes and turn up the volume.

• What A Girl Wants – Mckayla Twiggs
  There is something so satisfying about finding a new song by a relatively new artist, don’t you think? I like happy discoveries like these – those that tear you between wanting to spread their name like gospel to the general public, or just gatekeeping them and feeling superior over everyone for simply lacking taste. This song reminds me so much of pristine pop excellence. It exudes the cadence of Blackout by Britney Spears, but catered for our modern era. Also, those lyrics? Lmao, so me coded hahaha. I can definitely see Mckayla Twiggs blowing up at one point if she releases more bangers like this. Jeezus, the last time I felt something like this was when I first heard Here by Alessia Cara. Rest assured, I am sat, and I will be stanning.

Notable Meals:

Okay, so the issuance of my final pay from my previous company has been delayed for roughly 60 days. I was basically living off on coffee and eggs for the most part of January, but when I got news from HR that they will release the check on the last week of the month, I’ve been able to manage balancing my finances a bit more leniently over the days leading up to it. It sucks that I wasn’t able to take a picture of it but I actually went on a solo lunch at Key Coffee in Mitsukoshi last week and ordered their Wagyu Ragu pasta. It was pretty good, but felt a bit lackluster. For some reason, I had a「ん？これ和牛なの？w」kind of reaction upon tasting the Ragu.

Oh, Raba and I also went for lunch at Ipponyari. Back for a second time (the last time was for inuman so we mostly only ordered drinks), and I was pretty surprised. I ordered the Chashu-men, which was relatively reasonably priced for BGC standards. But what shocked me was the speed of serving because that shit came like 2 minutes after I ordered it lmao. Ipponyari had a really massive menu that covers most Japanese food you can think of. It sucks that they didn’t have the Goma-ae (I am a massive connoiseur of Japanese appetizers), but all in all, I think it is worth being a regular customer just to check out their entire catalogue, to find out what works for me and what doesn’t. Also, don’t be fooled by how affordable it might seem, the prices on the menu doesn’t include taxes lmao (so very Japanese of them to make it subtle). にしても1000ペソでチャーシュー麺ってどうなんだろう？ あれは体感で750円クオリティーな気がする。あっ、あと餃子は頼んだわ！美味かったかな（うまい冷凍餃子って感じ）。はぁ、全く。日暮里の馬賊の餃子が日に日に恋しくなるぜぇ。

I’m lowkey excited for the coming weeks since I have a bunch of dinner and lunch commitments with my favorite people. Reaching out to gastronomy feels like a good start in reclaiming my sense of self. Hella hyped, not gonna lie.

Recent Musings:

I just received my final pay (which includes two months of my salary and my 13th-Month bonus a couple of days ago) and I’m not even gonna dial down with this: I feel like I was given a second lease at life. Never, ever, underestimate the power of financial stability. I had to burn through my savings over the past three months and I felt like I was spiraling down a massive pool of depression with each coming day. The uncertainty of it all made it worse, and damn, did it make me feel so much disdain for the entire corporate system. All in all, I’m just glad I made it through hell and back, and now, I feel so fucking rejuvenated. I genuinely feel I could tackle on life with no hesitations, which says a fucking lot since it’s coming from me.

First order of business was to settle off bills and the other miscellaneous shit that needed to be paid. I paid everything from my phone on the way to the CMEC Office in Pasay (I had to personally claim the care package my mom sent from Japan) and it was a truly orgasmic experience leaving the Grab knowing I have dealt with all the bills I needed to pay. And of course, I wanted to give myself a treat for being such a patient human being over the past three months.

So you see, I have this dealer who knows where the good shit is at, and I happened to check his inventory last week. And holy fucking god, he actually had an authentic bottle of Giorgio Armani Acqua Di Gio Profumo. The second I saw that there was only 1 bottle on his spreadsheet, I knew I had to get my hands on it. I messaged him immediately and made a deposit to make sure he wouldn’t release it to anyone else. The last bottle I owned had a nefariously tragic end – I left the bottle in the care of my grandmother here in the Philippines during COVID. After 3 years of distant yearning, I was able to finally come back home once lockdown was lifted, to my dear sweet bottle, after suffering in Japan over the pandemic, only to find the bottle cap not tightly shut and almost half open (my grandmother apparently sniffed all of my bottles, and didn’t know the cap was magnetic). I left Profumo with roughly 75% left, and stumbled upon it completely empty and destitute of any leftovers. I literally fell to my knees and wept. My grandmother was asking me why I was so emotional over a bottle, and all I could do was throw back a look of contempt so menacing that she had to look away.

The bottle I found from perfumejunkieph wasn’t cheap – this specific fragrance has been discontinued by Armani, and since it’s truly a magnificent scent, coming across one nowadays is EXTREMELY rare. If I could be greedier, I personally would have wanted a bottle that was brewed around 2015 or 2016 since it had a more profound incense note compared to following concoctions. But fuck it, we ball with a 2022 bottle. Seriously though, what the fuck, Armani? What on earth is your fucking problem. Armani, by far, houses most of my favorite scents of any designer brands. And the way they shelf these iconic scents is truly some of the nastiest examples of biphobic behaviour I have ever witnessed. Yeah, sure the Emporio Armani’s Stronger With You lineup is an outstanding set of fragrances, but damn… really? I am aware that the Acqua Di Gio Parfum currently being sold is a clone of the Profumo version. But there is something truly magical about the latter that the clone could never truly replicate. Buying a Parfum bottle knowing that somewhere in the world, in a hidden Armani vault, or the closet of some fucking Armani hoarder, a bottle of Profumo, is still left sealed – is quite literally like settling for a hookup with a rando, all the while knowing that the love of your life is walking on the streets somewhere: single, unapologetically stunning, and is simply waiting to be with you. I’m just so fucking happy to be reunited with this fragrance, which has been my ultimate wingman during college. The amount of unsolicited compliments and unwarranted make-out sessions you landed me is truly one for the history books.

Aside from ADG Profumo, I also got a decant of Parfums de Marly Percival. This scent has also been on my radar since it reminded me a tad of this specific scent that meant so much to me in the past: Abercrombie and Fitch’s Fierce pre-2014. I remember randomly walking into their store in Seattle back when I was in high school and just finding myself lining up at the counter with a bottle in hand. Mind you, this was using the trip allowance I got from my mom. That bottle alone blew up most of my entire allowance during my stay in the States, but I regret nothing. That bottle kicked off my obsession of collecting scents that fascinated me. I was 17 when I got that bottle. Good fucking times, man.

A decade later, I haven’t bought an A&F scent in quite sometime (I still have a bottle of Abercrombie and Fitch’s Reserve though, ya know, for good measure). I kinda outgrew it, but this Parfums de Marly bottle reminds me so much of the old bottle of A&F Fierce, but one that is a bit more refined, more classy, more my age, I guess. Holy shit if only it wasn’t so expensive. Ugh. I will definitely eye getting a bottle down the line though.

People might call me a fraghead, but I definitely don’t think that I am one (have you seen what actual fragheads are like lol?) But I am however, intrinsically a person who puts emphasis on impression and significance. I don’t buy fragrances just because. There is always deep intent there. And my favorite fragrances aren’t even the ones that smell the best in my collection (aside from you Profumo, baby you are a banger). Just like how A&F Fierce is the first bottle I have ever bought, or how Giorgio Armani Eau De Nuit Oud is the first bottle I bought with my own money (on my very first big boy salary), scents that were present during significant moments in my life are able to evoke really vivid emotions from me in a snap of a finger. Even a whiff can teleport me back to those certain moments where I used those scents for something important in the past. Personally I feel like fragrances when paired with very visceral attachments, can transcend the realms of nostalgia – like for the case of ADG Profumo: I don’t put emphasis about the times I used it in the past, but rather, it triggers the present me to desire to be who I once was when I was wearing it. It reminds me of how much I miss myself, and it painfully whispers into my ear how I became a completely different person over the years, in ways both good and bad.

If there are any patrons willing to fund my expensive obsession, here is a list of the remaining fragrances on my radar:

• Ombre Nomade from Louis Vuitton
  As a batang lumaki sa Novaliches na adik sa amoy ng gasolina, this scent is too fucking sexy for me. I need it. I need it bad.

• Percival from Parfums de Marly
  Blue scents are not really my thing anymore. Gone are the days of Dior Sauvage or Bleu De Chanel. But this one might truly be the sole exception.

• Eau De Nuit Oud from Giorgio Armani
  My very first big boy bottle. I remember rushing to Ginza after receiving my very first big boy salary, and I made a vow to myself to buy the first perfume I smelled that I resonated with in Armani. This was it. Boy, if you thought Acqua Di Gio Profumo was elusive, boyyyyyyyyy. Finding an authentic bottle that’s still sealed in the wild is damn near impossible. I honestly think digging up a random patch of soil and finding a fossil is more likely to happen than getting another bottle of this also discontinued fragrance (I hate you Armani!). One could dream though.

• Tempo from Diptyque
  Three words: I. Love. Patchouli.

• Musc Ravageur from Frederic Malle
  Owning this might require me to live on nothing but oxygen for a couple of months. Sure when you hear Frederic Malle, fragrances like Portrait of A Lady or Promise also comes to mind, but I personally find this scent sooooo intoxicating. It’s definitely not a fragrance that is appealing to the masses, but I can see myself pulling this scent off in the winter.

• Reflection Man from Amouage
  As corny as it seems, my favorite floral scent is rose. Like, I own Eau Capitale by Diptyque and Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir (I layer this with Oud and Bergamot by Jo Malone btw hehe), and then there is Eau De Nuit Oud by Giorgio Armani which is a Rose+Oud blend (‘di ba obvious na I’m yearning for Eau De Nuit Oud? lol). But golly, the clean floral opening notes of Reflection Man is truly transcendent. I can’t get enough of it. That Jasmine-Ylang Ylang combination feels almost spiritual in nature. Like, I just know that entering a church wearing this would be considered a sinful act because it will probably entice everyone who will catch a whiff of it.

Go check out perfumejunkiesph on Instagram! They have an outstanding stock of both designer fragrances and niche scents from renowned fragrance houses. They also have an impressive catalog of decants in case you don’t want to blind buy and all you need is a small amount to check if the perfume performs well on your body. The people behind this account is doing nothing less than God’s work (not a paid promotion, just go check them out really).

Wait, I think I talked way too much about perfumes. Anyways, I’m currently trying to get back into shape: I just signed up to a local volleyball club and have been working out at the gym at least twice a week (hey, I’m still adjusting despite my hectic schedule, don’t fucking rush me). I have been more conscious of my diet, and has also started to really invest in skincare. Please lang, gusto ko lang naman sumarap uli. I have pseudofriends who tell me na I am already enough and that I don’t really have to work too hard – that a person that will like me for who I truly am will one day appear if I go out enough. My true friends on the other hand, say nothing: they know I can’t really be in love unless I’m also in love with myself – that my true genuine self is someone cocky, conceited, so fucking full of himself, annoying to no end, and yet, is still one of the hardest people to hate.

I have no intentions of letting this momentum go to waste. No, definitely not this time. Now that I am painfully aware of how the structure of corporate life becomes more and more tolerable depending on how you navigate your personal life outside of operating hours, I am down with fully committing to making the most out of my time outside of work.

Konting budbod ng Magic Sarap lang at mapapasigaw din kayo: ANG SARAP MO!

See y’all in two weeks. I for sure have substantial things to talk about then, for once.